I've done a lot of research on this topic, and I believe that women are most attracted to these six thing:
1) Means (Wealth, possessions, gifts to them or providing for them)
2) Power (Influence, Leadership, provide safety)
3) Fame
4) Looks (Including height)
5) Exclusivity (Royalty, already married, hard to get, affiliation)
6) Personality (Humor, creativity, romance, intelligence, mystique etc.)
Now, numbers one through five are largely out of your immediate control. If you're not rich, you're probably not going to get rich this week. If you're not famous or tall, you're probably not going to be in a hit movie or grow 6 inches in the next 24 hours.
So that leaves us with number six, PERSONALITY.
The good news is that as far as I'm concerned, your personality is your GREATEST ASSET in the success-with-women game.
Fortunately, it's the one thing you can change. And it's the one thing that can OVERCOME all of the rest. After you've done what you can to look your best, etc. you have to develop a personality that's absolutely magnetic. Now let's talk about how you can do just that.
By the way, the one quality that attracts women the most (and keeps them attracted) is not something that they can initially 'look' for. It's the way they FEEL when they are with you or thinking of you. In the end, if you don't have wealth, power, fame, or looks you're going to have to use your personality to make them FEEL good. In the end, your personality is the most powerful weapon you have.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Personality Traits That Attract Women
In the next chapter, I'm going to describe MY particular unique personality and the 'character' that I become when I'm meeting women.
But before I do that, I'd like to talk about some of the different personality traits that women find most attractive. Some are better when used with others, and some don't work well together. Here is the list with brief descriptions. I'll talk more about combining after.
• Funny. Humor is just plain powerful with women. If you can keep her laughing, you will go far.
• Intelligent and Creative. Intelligence is sexy IF it's used in a way that's interesting to her. Use your creativity and intelligence to surprise her with ideas, fantasies and unexpected things that
charm her.
• Educated. Education is attractive to women as long as it's used in an interesting way. Some women are actually intimidated by education, as they're not educated (This usually works in your favor).
• Classy and Cultured. If you have class, women pick up on this. Do your shoes and belt match? Do you understand interior design and color contrast? Do you know about different types of wine? Do you like foreign movies? Do you understand fashion? Do you like Frank Sinatra? Do you enjoy exotic foods? Do you serve her Hors d'oeuvres and a glass of wine when she visits? Do you open all doors for her? Women notice this stuff BIG TIME.
• Dominant. Women have an unconscious attraction to dominant men. The dominant males in some primate groups account for up to 75% of all the matings, while the less dominant males go
without. Same goes for humans.
• Thoughtful. Women don't just like gifts, they like knowing that you were THINKING of them. The gift is a SYMBOL. Women feel the same amount of good inside whether it's a card or a diamond (of course the diamond lasts longer, so there are more times of feeling good!'). But the fact is that women like to know that you're thinking about them. Even if you're telling a woman that you don't like it that she was out with another guy, she'll like it, because it means you were thinking about her!
• Notices Significant Details. Women don't just notice details, they USE them to try to be attractive and attentive. If she is wearing a sexy outfit, she didn't put it on by accident. If her hair is done nicely, it wasn't a fluke. Women are very impressed and attracted to men that notice these details.
• Unpredictable/Predictable. Here's a paradox. Women are drawn to men that they can't control or predict. They obsess over guys who flirt and give them attention, then don't call the
next day. Predictability is only attractive when it comes to choosing a HUSBAND. Then a woman usually wants a man who's VERY predictable.
• Enthusiastic, Fun, Happy. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a killjoy. Some men get upset and pout when a woman is happy, and try to put down the things that she enjoys to sound superior. This is usually a HUGE mistake. Enthusiasm is infectious and attractive.
• Adventurous. Women are instantly attracted to men who like to do extreme, adventurous, unusual, even dangerous things. It's exciting. Adventurism is sexy.
• Aggressive. Women love men that know what they want and go after it. Passion is a sign of life. I'm not talking about the kind of aggressive that turns into date rape. I'm talking about the kind
of aggressive that turns into setting a goal and then going after it with passion and getting it no matter what.
Confident/Cocky. Women are magnetically attracted to men who are just a little bit too cocky. Just a little bit. This is a tough one to explain. Many men take this to mean 'overly arrogant' which is not what I mean. If you watch Pierce Brosnan in 'The Thomas Crown Affair' or Clarke Gable in 'Gone With The Wind' or Tom Cruise in 'Top Gun' you'll get an idea of what I'm talking
about. The confident/cocky trait is mild overconfidence combined with humor. Drives women wild.
• Expertise. If you're an expert in an area that is interesting to your kind of woman, this can be attractive. It needs to be presented from a "I know a lot about this, let me show you"
perspective, not a "I'm cool and you're not" angle.
• Attention. Women like attention. And interestingly enough, it's better to hint at the attention that you're giving them than to be too overt about it. If you say "I was thinking about you earlier
today. And I just wanted to mention that I really like the sound of your voice..." it's much more powerful than listening to them complain about something so they think you're paying attention.
Get it?
• Disinterest, Indifference, a Challenge. Most women are used to being pursued by men in one way or another. If you are indifferent to a woman, make her think that you're only calling because you're bored, and act almost disinterested sexually, they'll often do their very best to get your attention. Different is good in this case. Again, this drives most women crazy, and
even though they'd hate to admit it, it's ultra interesting tothem.
• Charm (attention with a polished, smooth approach). This is hard to describe. Watch a James Bond movie to get an idea. And watch 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.' Pay attention to Michael Cain's
character. Charm is powerful because it has a certain 'prince on a white horse' aspect to it.
• Imagination and Perspective. Watch the movie 'Don Juan DeMarco' and listen to how Don Juan interprets the world. Instead of just looking at the surface of a woman, he looks within to find the beautiful part. A romantic imagination sees opportunities for poetic comments, interesting stories, fascinating history, and emotional interpretation in everything. Expert in body language. This is important, as women are constantly sending signals. I'll talk more in a later chapter about this.
• Sexual Mastery. Women love sex just as much as men do. But just like everything else in life, a great lover is not easy to find. Women become instantly addicted to skillful lovers who know how to make them feel ecstasy and teach them new ways of feeling incredible.
But before I do that, I'd like to talk about some of the different personality traits that women find most attractive. Some are better when used with others, and some don't work well together. Here is the list with brief descriptions. I'll talk more about combining after.
• Funny. Humor is just plain powerful with women. If you can keep her laughing, you will go far.
• Intelligent and Creative. Intelligence is sexy IF it's used in a way that's interesting to her. Use your creativity and intelligence to surprise her with ideas, fantasies and unexpected things that
charm her.
• Educated. Education is attractive to women as long as it's used in an interesting way. Some women are actually intimidated by education, as they're not educated (This usually works in your favor).
• Classy and Cultured. If you have class, women pick up on this. Do your shoes and belt match? Do you understand interior design and color contrast? Do you know about different types of wine? Do you like foreign movies? Do you understand fashion? Do you like Frank Sinatra? Do you enjoy exotic foods? Do you serve her Hors d'oeuvres and a glass of wine when she visits? Do you open all doors for her? Women notice this stuff BIG TIME.
• Dominant. Women have an unconscious attraction to dominant men. The dominant males in some primate groups account for up to 75% of all the matings, while the less dominant males go
without. Same goes for humans.
• Thoughtful. Women don't just like gifts, they like knowing that you were THINKING of them. The gift is a SYMBOL. Women feel the same amount of good inside whether it's a card or a diamond (of course the diamond lasts longer, so there are more times of feeling good!'). But the fact is that women like to know that you're thinking about them. Even if you're telling a woman that you don't like it that she was out with another guy, she'll like it, because it means you were thinking about her!
• Notices Significant Details. Women don't just notice details, they USE them to try to be attractive and attentive. If she is wearing a sexy outfit, she didn't put it on by accident. If her hair is done nicely, it wasn't a fluke. Women are very impressed and attracted to men that notice these details.
• Unpredictable/Predictable. Here's a paradox. Women are drawn to men that they can't control or predict. They obsess over guys who flirt and give them attention, then don't call the
next day. Predictability is only attractive when it comes to choosing a HUSBAND. Then a woman usually wants a man who's VERY predictable.
• Enthusiastic, Fun, Happy. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a killjoy. Some men get upset and pout when a woman is happy, and try to put down the things that she enjoys to sound superior. This is usually a HUGE mistake. Enthusiasm is infectious and attractive.
• Adventurous. Women are instantly attracted to men who like to do extreme, adventurous, unusual, even dangerous things. It's exciting. Adventurism is sexy.
• Aggressive. Women love men that know what they want and go after it. Passion is a sign of life. I'm not talking about the kind of aggressive that turns into date rape. I'm talking about the kind
of aggressive that turns into setting a goal and then going after it with passion and getting it no matter what.
Confident/Cocky. Women are magnetically attracted to men who are just a little bit too cocky. Just a little bit. This is a tough one to explain. Many men take this to mean 'overly arrogant' which is not what I mean. If you watch Pierce Brosnan in 'The Thomas Crown Affair' or Clarke Gable in 'Gone With The Wind' or Tom Cruise in 'Top Gun' you'll get an idea of what I'm talking
about. The confident/cocky trait is mild overconfidence combined with humor. Drives women wild.
• Expertise. If you're an expert in an area that is interesting to your kind of woman, this can be attractive. It needs to be presented from a "I know a lot about this, let me show you"
perspective, not a "I'm cool and you're not" angle.
• Attention. Women like attention. And interestingly enough, it's better to hint at the attention that you're giving them than to be too overt about it. If you say "I was thinking about you earlier
today. And I just wanted to mention that I really like the sound of your voice..." it's much more powerful than listening to them complain about something so they think you're paying attention.
Get it?
• Disinterest, Indifference, a Challenge. Most women are used to being pursued by men in one way or another. If you are indifferent to a woman, make her think that you're only calling because you're bored, and act almost disinterested sexually, they'll often do their very best to get your attention. Different is good in this case. Again, this drives most women crazy, and
even though they'd hate to admit it, it's ultra interesting tothem.
• Charm (attention with a polished, smooth approach). This is hard to describe. Watch a James Bond movie to get an idea. And watch 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.' Pay attention to Michael Cain's
character. Charm is powerful because it has a certain 'prince on a white horse' aspect to it.
• Imagination and Perspective. Watch the movie 'Don Juan DeMarco' and listen to how Don Juan interprets the world. Instead of just looking at the surface of a woman, he looks within to find the beautiful part. A romantic imagination sees opportunities for poetic comments, interesting stories, fascinating history, and emotional interpretation in everything. Expert in body language. This is important, as women are constantly sending signals. I'll talk more in a later chapter about this.
• Sexual Mastery. Women love sex just as much as men do. But just like everything else in life, a great lover is not easy to find. Women become instantly addicted to skillful lovers who know how to make them feel ecstasy and teach them new ways of feeling incredible.
How To Be Funny, The One Page Course
Here's a little mini-course on how to be funny:
First, go read "Comedy Writing Secrets" by Helizer. And while you're at it, watch some good stand up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy and Robin Williams. Listen for how they use word play, double meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create humor.
It's time to get yourself a set of standard things that you say for some of the most common situations.
Here's a list of some that I use personally and how you can use them:
1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to something, say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" For instance, if a woman says "I just HATE it when people smoke around me!" say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" The sarcasm is that they've showed that they have VERY strong feelings, so the "How do you REALLY feel" creates a joke on them that they're overly emotional.
2. Say "Anyway" and look away quickly after making a wise crack. For instance, if someone says "That girl over there is ugly" say "Oh, I thought she was you-anyway" (look away quickly). The looking away and quick "Anyway" trying to get off the topic creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for opportunities to misinterpret words like it. If you say "Let's go over to the bar to have a drink" and the woman says "Let's do it," turn to her and say "Let's do it? You mean right here? I think the line for a bathroom stall is too long, and I'd rather have a drink."
4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything, and use it to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you even know her. If she says "Well, I'm getting tired, and I think it's time for bed" say "Bed? I mean, I don't even know if you know how to kiss... and you're trying to get me into bed? What happened to the old days where you could make friends first?"
5. Exaggerate. If a woman walks by that's overweight, say "What would you guess? 900 pounds?" Or if a woman complains about part of her body or her clothing (I love these opportunities)
exaggerate it. For instance, she says "My hair looks like hell today" you say "I didn't want to say anything." Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You'll usually get a hit on the arm (for which you can spank her on the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc.
6. Connect things around you current affairs in a funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by say "Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house." If a woman starts talking about how she just bought herself a new car, say "I like the effect that the Independent Woman song is having on you." (These are, of course, currently funny. Next year it will be a different set of things)
7. Don't smile too much, and don't laugh at your own jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it releases the tension. If you can keep a straight face, the joke stays funnier longer.
OK, there's a list of basic things that I've learned about how to be funny. I'd recommend that you start studying humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.
Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humor. This is some good funny stuff.
First, go read "Comedy Writing Secrets" by Helizer. And while you're at it, watch some good stand up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy and Robin Williams. Listen for how they use word play, double meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create humor.
It's time to get yourself a set of standard things that you say for some of the most common situations.
Here's a list of some that I use personally and how you can use them:
1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to something, say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" For instance, if a woman says "I just HATE it when people smoke around me!" say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" The sarcasm is that they've showed that they have VERY strong feelings, so the "How do you REALLY feel" creates a joke on them that they're overly emotional.
2. Say "Anyway" and look away quickly after making a wise crack. For instance, if someone says "That girl over there is ugly" say "Oh, I thought she was you-anyway" (look away quickly). The looking away and quick "Anyway" trying to get off the topic creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for opportunities to misinterpret words like it. If you say "Let's go over to the bar to have a drink" and the woman says "Let's do it," turn to her and say "Let's do it? You mean right here? I think the line for a bathroom stall is too long, and I'd rather have a drink."
4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything, and use it to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you even know her. If she says "Well, I'm getting tired, and I think it's time for bed" say "Bed? I mean, I don't even know if you know how to kiss... and you're trying to get me into bed? What happened to the old days where you could make friends first?"
5. Exaggerate. If a woman walks by that's overweight, say "What would you guess? 900 pounds?" Or if a woman complains about part of her body or her clothing (I love these opportunities)
exaggerate it. For instance, she says "My hair looks like hell today" you say "I didn't want to say anything." Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You'll usually get a hit on the arm (for which you can spank her on the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc.
6. Connect things around you current affairs in a funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by say "Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house." If a woman starts talking about how she just bought herself a new car, say "I like the effect that the Independent Woman song is having on you." (These are, of course, currently funny. Next year it will be a different set of things)
7. Don't smile too much, and don't laugh at your own jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it releases the tension. If you can keep a straight face, the joke stays funnier longer.
OK, there's a list of basic things that I've learned about how to be funny. I'd recommend that you start studying humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.
Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humor. This is some good funny stuff.
How To Answer Any Question That You Don't Want To Answer
Women have a way with questions.
They seem to always ask questions that men don't want to answer.
Questions like:
"Are you seeing anyone else right now?"
"How do you feel about marriage?"
"Do you want kids?"
"How do you feel about me?"
"Do I look fat in these pants?"
Know what I'm talking about?
Well, it took me awhile, but I finally figured out how to deal with tough questions: Evasive Action.
Here's how it works. She asks you a tough question. You don't miss a beat, and answer with the answer she wants to hear. Then you throw in a slapstick comedy line.
For instance:
Say she asks: "Are you seeing other women?"
You answer: "No... other men."
Get it?
Here's another one:
She asks: "Do you love me?"
You answer: "Of course... as a friend."
And another:
She asks: "Where were you last night? I called."
You answer: "I was home thinking about you... but since you didn't call early enough, I went out and hired ten strippers."
At first, I figured that this tactic wouldn't work. But then I tried using it a few times, and behold, it worked in almost every situation.
And if she pushes and asks again: "Cummon, seriously..."
You say: "No, seriously. I was home thinking about you... OK, OK, you got me. I really went out with ten other women. Are you happy? What, are you feeling insecure?"
If you keep it up, they'll give up.
Make sure you don't act busted or nervous and it will work for you, too. Remember, women can take hints very well, and if they think that there's an answer that they don't want to hear, they'll give up and stop asking.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
HOW TO KISS GIRLS WITH DIFFERENT SIZES OF MOUTHS
Another question which must be settled at this time concerns the size of the kissee's mouth. A consideration of this factor is important. Where the girl's mouth is of the tiny, rosebud type, then one need not worry about what to do. Merely follow the directions as they were outlined above. However, there are many girls whose lips are broad and generous', whose lips are on the order of Joan Crawford's, for instance.. The technique in kissing such lips is different.
Different Sizes of Mouths Require a Different Technique in Kissing For, were one to allow his lips to remain centered, there would be wide expanses of lips, untouched and, therefore, wasted. In such cases,. instead of remaining adhered to the center of the lips, the young man should lift up his lips a trifle and begin to travel around the girl's lips, stopping a number of times to drop a firm kiss in passing. When you have made a complete round of the lips, return immediately to the center bud and feast there. Feast there as did that lover of Fatimas, in Tennysen's poem, in which it was written that: "Once he drew, with one long kiss, my whole soul through my lips-as sunlight drinketh dew."
Then, sip of the honey.
Like the bee that settles on the fragrant pistils of a flower, and sips in the nectar for honey, so should you sip in the nectar from between the lips of your love. And it is nectar. For there is in this mingling a symbol of the holy communion o f the spirits of two soul-mates, joined together in the bonds of an indissoluble love. It was a kiss such as this which caused the writer of an old German novel to write:
"Sophia returned my kiss and the earth went from under my feet; my soul was no longer in my body; I touched the stars; I knew the happiness of angels!"
How To Develop A Personality That Is Irresistible To Women
In my experience, it's far better to ATTRACT a woman than to CHASE a woman.
If a woman is ATTRACTED to you, half the game is over.
In sales, it's much easier to sell your product to someone who's called you and said "Can you help me?" than to try to sell to people who you've called cold.
Here's my premise: Women are attracted to men for certain reasons and they go through a specific sequence internally when they are attracted to a man - there is a system, a sequence, a code if you will. And once you know what it is, you can develop a method to create this sequence more often. You can use this fact that there is a 'genetic mating sequence' to help you.
Be Different In An Attractive Way
By studying marketing and sales, I've learned that humans are attracted to things that are unique. They are also attracted to things that are superior. So I have a phrase that I use: "Different in a preferential way." In the mating game, it pays to be different in an ATTRACTIVE way.
What I'm about to share with you is a group of ingredients. These are the different ingredients that women are attracted to. It's up to you to take what you have, and to use this list to augment your personality in such a way that it becomes attractive to the type of women that you're interested in. The key is to be different in an attractive way.
But make sure that you're not too different! If you get too carried away with this, you'll be outside of the realm of 'normal' and you will wind up hurting yourself. So experiment and test to see what works for you.
Your Enemy Is Insecurity and Neediness
Insecurity and neediness are two of the biggest obstacles to success with women. Insecurity and neediness are two sides of the same coin.
A man is needy when he craves attention or recognition. He shows that he's insecure when he ACTS on these needs.
Insecurity shows up when a man does not feel comfortable with who he is or comfortable in the situation that he's in. He acts tentative, weak, and unsure. He tries to put on a show of confidence that is obviously fake. He says things that are out of place in an attempt to get approval.
Women detect insecurity and neediness INSTANTLY.
Here are some examples of insecurity and neediness to avoid:
· Hanging on a woman. Don't touch a woman or crowd her too much in the beginning. Women take this as neediness and insecurity. Instead, lean back and let her become comfortable being around you.
· Talking or saying negative things about women or past girlfriends. If you talk to much about past girlfriends or other women, or say negative things about them, a woman will judge you to be insecure.
· Having emotional responses to things. If it's obvious to a woman that you will get upset about things easily, then she will judge you to be insecure.
· Looking to others to make decisions. Women like it when you decide what's going to happen, then do it. If you are always asking "Well, what do you think I should do?" and "Where do you want to go tonight?" and "What do you want?" you'll come off as needy. Just make decisions and go with it. If she has a different idea, she'll let you know.
· Saying or doing things to just to be noticed or to get compliments. I've known a lot of men who try to act cool or show off to get attention. This telegraphs to a woman that you're insecure and needy. Don't do it. If you're cool, she'll figure it out without you telling her.
· Arguing. This is my favorite. Some people feel like they need to argue with EVERYTHING. If you're one of these people, just realize that this is a clear demonstration that you're insecure and needy. You may always be right, but being overly argumentative is bad for your sex life. Deal with it. If you really want to argue with something, do it in a funny way, not in a serious way.
How Men Usually Find Women
I've read several books on mating and courtship behavior among different species of animals (Including humans!). The funny thing is that humans do just about the same things as most other animals, with slight variations.
Here are the main ways male animals (humans included) find females:
· Staking out a small territory among other males where females come specifically to select between males who are displaying for them (called Lekking in the animal kingdom).
· Staking out a larger territory where other males aren't allowed and showing that they can provide for a female because they control a large territory.
· Visiting places where females gather or are likely to be and displaying for them.
· Choosing a spot where they are very visible and displaying in
hopes that a passing female will show interest.
Some human equivalents of these are:
· Hanging out at a gym or on the beach with other guys to show off for women.
· Buying a big house and inviting women over to see how successful and rich you are, and that you can provide for them.
· Going to a Yoga class where you know there will be 10 women for every man.
· Becoming famous or popular, thus placing yourself in the path of many women.
The point is, there's nothing new under the sun. If you want to meet women, you have to:
1) Decide what kind of woman you want.
2) Find out what is attractive to her and be it.
3) Go where these women are likely to be (or set up a situation where they come to you).
4) Approach them and engage (or, if you can figure out how to get them to approach you, do that.)
It's all the same game. Most men that are failures with women aren't willing to do what it takes to be successful. That's the bottom line. I'm going to give you the secret ingredients that attract women and invite you to combine some of them with your personality in order to attract the kind of women that you're interested in. The question is "Are you willing to do the work that it will take to be successful?"
The Six Things That Attract Women
I've done a lot of research on this topic, and I believe that women are most attracted to these six thing:
1) Means (Wealth, possessions, gifts to them or providing for them)
2) Power (Influence, Leadership, provide safety)
3) Fame
4) Looks (Including height)
5) Exclusivity (Royalty, already married, hard to get, affiliation)
6) Personality (Humor, creativity, romance, intelligence, mystique etc.)
Now, numbers one through five are largely out of your immediate control. If you're not rich, you're probably not going to get rich this week. If you're not famous or tall, you're probably not going to be in a hit movie or grow 6 inches in the next 24 hours.
So that leaves us with number six, PERSONALITY.
The good news is that as far as I'm concerned, your personality is your GREATEST ASSET in the success-with-women game.
Fortunately, it's the one thing you can change. And it's the one thing that can OVERCOME all of the rest. After you've done what you can to look your best, etc. you have to develop a personality that's absolutely magnetic. Now let's talk about how you can do just that.
By the way, the one quality that attracts women the most (and keeps them attracted) is not something that they can initially 'look' for. It's the way they FEEL when they are with you or thinking of you. In the end, if you don't have wealth, power, fame, or looks you're going to have to use your personality to make them FEEL good. In the end, your personality is the most powerful weapon you have.
1) Means (Wealth, possessions, gifts to them or providing for them)
2) Power (Influence, Leadership, provide safety)
3) Fame
4) Looks (Including height)
5) Exclusivity (Royalty, already married, hard to get, affiliation)
6) Personality (Humor, creativity, romance, intelligence, mystique etc.)
Now, numbers one through five are largely out of your immediate control. If you're not rich, you're probably not going to get rich this week. If you're not famous or tall, you're probably not going to be in a hit movie or grow 6 inches in the next 24 hours.
So that leaves us with number six, PERSONALITY.
The good news is that as far as I'm concerned, your personality is your GREATEST ASSET in the success-with-women game.
Fortunately, it's the one thing you can change. And it's the one thing that can OVERCOME all of the rest. After you've done what you can to look your best, etc. you have to develop a personality that's absolutely magnetic. Now let's talk about how you can do just that.
By the way, the one quality that attracts women the most (and keeps them attracted) is not something that they can initially 'look' for. It's the way they FEEL when they are with you or thinking of you. In the end, if you don't have wealth, power, fame, or looks you're going to have to use your personality to make them FEEL good. In the end, your personality is the most powerful weapon you have.
Personality Traits That Attract Women
In the next chapter, I'm going to describe MY particular unique personality and the 'character' that I become when I'm meeting women.
But before I do that, I'd like to talk about some of the different personality traits that women find most attractive. Some are better when used with others, and some don't work well together. Here is the list with brief descriptions. I'll talk more about combining after.
• Funny. Humor is just plain powerful with women. If you can keep her laughing, you will go far.
• Intelligent and Creative. Intelligence is sexy IF it's used in a way that's interesting to her. Use your creativity and intelligence to surprise her with ideas, fantasies and unexpected things that
charm her.
• Educated. Education is attractive to women as long as it's used in an interesting way. Some women are actually intimidated by education, as they're not educated (This usually works in your favor).
• Classy and Cultured. If you have class, women pick up on this. Do your shoes and belt match? Do you understand interior design and color contrast? Do you know about different types of wine? Do you like foreign movies? Do you understand fashion? Do you like Frank Sinatra? Do you enjoy exotic foods? Do you serve her Hors d'oeuvres and a glass of wine when she visits? Do you open all doors for her? Women notice this stuff BIG TIME.
• Dominant. Women have an unconscious attraction to dominant men. The dominant males in some primate groups account for up to 75% of all the matings, while the less dominant males go
without. Same goes for humans.
• Thoughtful. Women don't just like gifts, they like knowing that you were THINKING of them. The gift is a SYMBOL. Women feel the same amount of good inside whether it's a card or a diamond (of course the diamond lasts longer, so there are more times of feeling good!'). But the fact is that women like to know that you're thinking about them. Even if you're telling a woman that you don't like it that she was out with another guy, she'll like it, because it means you were thinking about her!
• Notices Significant Details. Women don't just notice details, they USE them to try to be attractive and attentive. If she is wearing a sexy outfit, she didn't put it on by accident. If her hair is done nicely, it wasn't a fluke. Women are very impressed and attracted to men that notice these details.
• Unpredictable/Predictable. Here's a paradox. Women are drawn to men that they can't control or predict. They obsess over guys who flirt and give them attention, then don't call the
next day. Predictability is only attractive when it comes to choosing a HUSBAND. Then a woman usually wants a man who's VERY predictable.
• Enthusiastic, Fun, Happy. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a killjoy. Some men get upset and pout when a woman is happy, and try to put down the things that she enjoys to sound superior. This is usually a HUGE mistake. Enthusiasm is infectious and attractive.
• Adventurous. Women are instantly attracted to men who like to do extreme, adventurous, unusual, even dangerous things. It's exciting. Adventurism is sexy.
• Aggressive. Women love men that know what they want and go after it. Passion is a sign of life. I'm not talking about the kind of aggressive that turns into date rape. I'm talking about the kind
of aggressive that turns into setting a goal and then going after it with passion and getting it no matter what.
Confident/Cocky. Women are magnetically attracted to men who are just a little bit too cocky. Just a little bit. This is a tough one to explain. Many men take this to mean 'overly arrogant' which is not what I mean. If you watch Pierce Brosnan in 'The Thomas Crown Affair' or Clarke Gable in 'Gone With The Wind' or Tom Cruise in 'Top Gun' you'll get an idea of what I'm talking
about. The confident/cocky trait is mild overconfidence combined with humor. Drives women wild.
• Expertise. If you're an expert in an area that is interesting to your kind of woman, this can be attractive. It needs to be presented from a "I know a lot about this, let me show you"
perspective, not a "I'm cool and you're not" angle.
• Attention. Women like attention. And interestingly enough, it's better to hint at the attention that you're giving them than to be too overt about it. If you say "I was thinking about you earlier
today. And I just wanted to mention that I really like the sound of your voice..." it's much more powerful than listening to them complain about something so they think you're paying attention.
Get it?
• Disinterest, Indifference, a Challenge. Most women are used to being pursued by men in one way or another. If you are indifferent to a woman, make her think that you're only calling because you're bored, and act almost disinterested sexually, they'll often do their very best to get your attention. Different is good in this case. Again, this drives most women crazy, and
even though they'd hate to admit it, it's ultra interesting tothem.
• Charm (attention with a polished, smooth approach). This is hard to describe. Watch a James Bond movie to get an idea. And watch 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.' Pay attention to Michael Cain's
character. Charm is powerful because it has a certain 'prince on a white horse' aspect to it.
• Romantic Imagination and Perspective. Watch the movie 'Don Juan DeMarco' and listen to how Don Juan interprets the world. Instead of just looking at the surface of a woman, he looks within to find the beautiful part. A romantic imagination sees opportunities for poetic comments, interesting stories, fascinating history, and emotional interpretation in everything. Expert in Body Language. This is important, as women are constantly sending signals. I'll talk more in a later chapter about this.
• Sexual Mastery. Women love sex just as much as men do. But just like everything else in life, a great lover is not easy to find. Women become instantly addicted to skillful lovers who know how to make them feel ecstasy and teach them new ways of feeling incredible.
But before I do that, I'd like to talk about some of the different personality traits that women find most attractive. Some are better when used with others, and some don't work well together. Here is the list with brief descriptions. I'll talk more about combining after.
• Funny. Humor is just plain powerful with women. If you can keep her laughing, you will go far.
• Intelligent and Creative. Intelligence is sexy IF it's used in a way that's interesting to her. Use your creativity and intelligence to surprise her with ideas, fantasies and unexpected things that
charm her.
• Educated. Education is attractive to women as long as it's used in an interesting way. Some women are actually intimidated by education, as they're not educated (This usually works in your favor).
• Classy and Cultured. If you have class, women pick up on this. Do your shoes and belt match? Do you understand interior design and color contrast? Do you know about different types of wine? Do you like foreign movies? Do you understand fashion? Do you like Frank Sinatra? Do you enjoy exotic foods? Do you serve her Hors d'oeuvres and a glass of wine when she visits? Do you open all doors for her? Women notice this stuff BIG TIME.
• Dominant. Women have an unconscious attraction to dominant men. The dominant males in some primate groups account for up to 75% of all the matings, while the less dominant males go
without. Same goes for humans.
• Thoughtful. Women don't just like gifts, they like knowing that you were THINKING of them. The gift is a SYMBOL. Women feel the same amount of good inside whether it's a card or a diamond (of course the diamond lasts longer, so there are more times of feeling good!'). But the fact is that women like to know that you're thinking about them. Even if you're telling a woman that you don't like it that she was out with another guy, she'll like it, because it means you were thinking about her!
• Notices Significant Details. Women don't just notice details, they USE them to try to be attractive and attentive. If she is wearing a sexy outfit, she didn't put it on by accident. If her hair is done nicely, it wasn't a fluke. Women are very impressed and attracted to men that notice these details.
• Unpredictable/Predictable. Here's a paradox. Women are drawn to men that they can't control or predict. They obsess over guys who flirt and give them attention, then don't call the
next day. Predictability is only attractive when it comes to choosing a HUSBAND. Then a woman usually wants a man who's VERY predictable.
• Enthusiastic, Fun, Happy. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a killjoy. Some men get upset and pout when a woman is happy, and try to put down the things that she enjoys to sound superior. This is usually a HUGE mistake. Enthusiasm is infectious and attractive.
• Adventurous. Women are instantly attracted to men who like to do extreme, adventurous, unusual, even dangerous things. It's exciting. Adventurism is sexy.
• Aggressive. Women love men that know what they want and go after it. Passion is a sign of life. I'm not talking about the kind of aggressive that turns into date rape. I'm talking about the kind
of aggressive that turns into setting a goal and then going after it with passion and getting it no matter what.
Confident/Cocky. Women are magnetically attracted to men who are just a little bit too cocky. Just a little bit. This is a tough one to explain. Many men take this to mean 'overly arrogant' which is not what I mean. If you watch Pierce Brosnan in 'The Thomas Crown Affair' or Clarke Gable in 'Gone With The Wind' or Tom Cruise in 'Top Gun' you'll get an idea of what I'm talking
about. The confident/cocky trait is mild overconfidence combined with humor. Drives women wild.
• Expertise. If you're an expert in an area that is interesting to your kind of woman, this can be attractive. It needs to be presented from a "I know a lot about this, let me show you"
perspective, not a "I'm cool and you're not" angle.
• Attention. Women like attention. And interestingly enough, it's better to hint at the attention that you're giving them than to be too overt about it. If you say "I was thinking about you earlier
today. And I just wanted to mention that I really like the sound of your voice..." it's much more powerful than listening to them complain about something so they think you're paying attention.
Get it?
• Disinterest, Indifference, a Challenge. Most women are used to being pursued by men in one way or another. If you are indifferent to a woman, make her think that you're only calling because you're bored, and act almost disinterested sexually, they'll often do their very best to get your attention. Different is good in this case. Again, this drives most women crazy, and
even though they'd hate to admit it, it's ultra interesting tothem.
• Charm (attention with a polished, smooth approach). This is hard to describe. Watch a James Bond movie to get an idea. And watch 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.' Pay attention to Michael Cain's
character. Charm is powerful because it has a certain 'prince on a white horse' aspect to it.
• Romantic Imagination and Perspective. Watch the movie 'Don Juan DeMarco' and listen to how Don Juan interprets the world. Instead of just looking at the surface of a woman, he looks within to find the beautiful part. A romantic imagination sees opportunities for poetic comments, interesting stories, fascinating history, and emotional interpretation in everything. Expert in Body Language. This is important, as women are constantly sending signals. I'll talk more in a later chapter about this.
• Sexual Mastery. Women love sex just as much as men do. But just like everything else in life, a great lover is not easy to find. Women become instantly addicted to skillful lovers who know how to make them feel ecstasy and teach them new ways of feeling incredible.
How To Be Funny, The One Page Course
Here's a little mini-course on how to be funny:
First, go read "Comedy Writing Secrets" by Helizer. And while you're at it, watch some good stand up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy and Robin Williams. Listen for how they use word play, double meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create humor.
It's time to get yourself a set of standard things that you say for some of the most common situations.
Here's a list of some that I use personally and how you can use them:
1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to something, say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" For instance, if a woman says "I just HATE it when people smoke around me!" say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" The sarcasm is that they've showed that they have VERY strong feelings, so the "How do you REALLY feel" creates a joke on them that they're overly emotional.
2. Say "Anyway" and look away quickly after making a wise crack. For instance, if someone says "That girl over there is ugly" say "Oh, I thought she was you-anyway" (look away quickly). The looking away and quick "Anyway" trying to get off the topic creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for opportunities to misinterpret words like it. If you say "Let's go over to the bar to have a drink" and the woman says "Let's do it," turn to her and say "Let's do it? You mean right here? I think the line for a bathroom stall is too long, and I'd rather have a drink."
4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything, and use it to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you even know her. If she says "Well, I'm getting tired, and I think it's time for bed" say "Bed? I mean, I don't even know if you know how to kiss... and you're trying to get me into bed? What happened to the old days where you could make friends first?"
5. Exaggerate. If a woman walks by that's overweight, say "What would you guess? 900 pounds?" Or if a woman complains about part of her body or her clothing (I love these opportunities)
exaggerate it. For instance, she says "My hair looks like hell today" you say "I didn't want to say anything." Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You'll usually get a hit on the arm (for which you can spank her on the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc.
6. Connect things around you current affairs in a funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by say "Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house." If a woman starts talking about how she just bought herself a new car, say "I like the effect that the Independent Woman song is having on you." (These are, of course, currently funny. Next year it will be a different set of things)
7. Don't smile too much, and don't laugh at your own jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it releases the tension. If you can keep a straight face, the joke stays funnier longer.
OK, there's a list of basic things that I've learned about how to be funny. I'd recommend that you start studying humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.
Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humor. This is some good funny stuff.
First, go read "Comedy Writing Secrets" by Helizer. And while you're at it, watch some good stand up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy and Robin Williams. Listen for how they use word play, double meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create humor.
It's time to get yourself a set of standard things that you say for some of the most common situations.
Here's a list of some that I use personally and how you can use them:
1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to something, say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" For instance, if a woman says "I just HATE it when people smoke around me!" say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" The sarcasm is that they've showed that they have VERY strong feelings, so the "How do you REALLY feel" creates a joke on them that they're overly emotional.
2. Say "Anyway" and look away quickly after making a wise crack. For instance, if someone says "That girl over there is ugly" say "Oh, I thought she was you-anyway" (look away quickly). The looking away and quick "Anyway" trying to get off the topic creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for opportunities to misinterpret words like it. If you say "Let's go over to the bar to have a drink" and the woman says "Let's do it," turn to her and say "Let's do it? You mean right here? I think the line for a bathroom stall is too long, and I'd rather have a drink."
4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything, and use it to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you even know her. If she says "Well, I'm getting tired, and I think it's time for bed" say "Bed? I mean, I don't even know if you know how to kiss... and you're trying to get me into bed? What happened to the old days where you could make friends first?"
5. Exaggerate. If a woman walks by that's overweight, say "What would you guess? 900 pounds?" Or if a woman complains about part of her body or her clothing (I love these opportunities)
exaggerate it. For instance, she says "My hair looks like hell today" you say "I didn't want to say anything." Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You'll usually get a hit on the arm (for which you can spank her on the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc.
6. Connect things around you current affairs in a funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by say "Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house." If a woman starts talking about how she just bought herself a new car, say "I like the effect that the Independent Woman song is having on you." (These are, of course, currently funny. Next year it will be a different set of things)
7. Don't smile too much, and don't laugh at your own jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it releases the tension. If you can keep a straight face, the joke stays funnier longer.
OK, there's a list of basic things that I've learned about how to be funny. I'd recommend that you start studying humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.
Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humor. This is some good funny stuff.
How To Be Funny, The One Page Course
Here's a little mini-course on how to be funny:
First, go read "Comedy Writing Secrets" by Helizer. And while you're at it, watch some good stand up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy and Robin Williams. Listen for how they use word play, double meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create humor.
It's time to get yourself a set of standard things that you say for some of the most common situations.
Here's a list of some that I use personally and how you can use them:
1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to something, say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" For instance, if a woman says "I just HATE it when people smoke around me!" say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" The sarcasm is that they've showed that they have VERY strong feelings, so the "How do you REALLY feel" creates a joke on them that they're overly emotional.
2. Say "Anyway" and look away quickly after making a wise crack. For instance, if someone says "That girl over there is ugly" say "Oh, I thought she was you-anyway" (look away quickly). The looking away and quick "Anyway" trying to get off the topic creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for opportunities to misinterpret words like it. If you say "Let's go over to the bar to have a drink" and the woman says "Let's do it," turn to her and say "Let's do it? You mean right here? I think the line for a bathroom stall is too long, and I'd rather have a drink."
4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything, and use it to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you even know her. If she says "Well, I'm getting tired, and I think it's time for bed" say "Bed? I mean, I don't even know if you know how to kiss... and you're trying to get me into bed? What happened to the old days where you could make friends first?"
5. Exaggerate. If a woman walks by that's overweight, say "What would you guess? 900 pounds?" Or if a woman complains about part of her body or her clothing (I love these opportunities)
exaggerate it. For instance, she says "My hair looks like hell today" you say "I didn't want to say anything." Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You'll usually get a hit on the arm (for which you can spank her on the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc.
6. Connect things around you current affairs in a funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by say "Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house." If a woman starts talking about how she just bought herself a new car, say "I like the effect that the Independent Woman song is having on you." (These are, of course, currently funny. Next year it will be a different set of things)
7. Don't smile too much, and don't laugh at your own jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it releases the tension. If you can keep a straight face, the joke stays funnier longer.
OK, there's a list of basic things that I've learned about how to be funny. I'd recommend that you start studying humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.
Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humor. This is some good funny stuff.
First, go read "Comedy Writing Secrets" by Helizer. And while you're at it, watch some good stand up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy and Robin Williams. Listen for how they use word play, double meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create humor.
It's time to get yourself a set of standard things that you say for some of the most common situations.
Here's a list of some that I use personally and how you can use them:
1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to something, say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" For instance, if a woman says "I just HATE it when people smoke around me!" say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" The sarcasm is that they've showed that they have VERY strong feelings, so the "How do you REALLY feel" creates a joke on them that they're overly emotional.
2. Say "Anyway" and look away quickly after making a wise crack. For instance, if someone says "That girl over there is ugly" say "Oh, I thought she was you-anyway" (look away quickly). The looking away and quick "Anyway" trying to get off the topic creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for opportunities to misinterpret words like it. If you say "Let's go over to the bar to have a drink" and the woman says "Let's do it," turn to her and say "Let's do it? You mean right here? I think the line for a bathroom stall is too long, and I'd rather have a drink."
4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything, and use it to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you even know her. If she says "Well, I'm getting tired, and I think it's time for bed" say "Bed? I mean, I don't even know if you know how to kiss... and you're trying to get me into bed? What happened to the old days where you could make friends first?"
5. Exaggerate. If a woman walks by that's overweight, say "What would you guess? 900 pounds?" Or if a woman complains about part of her body or her clothing (I love these opportunities)
exaggerate it. For instance, she says "My hair looks like hell today" you say "I didn't want to say anything." Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You'll usually get a hit on the arm (for which you can spank her on the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc.
6. Connect things around you current affairs in a funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by say "Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house." If a woman starts talking about how she just bought herself a new car, say "I like the effect that the Independent Woman song is having on you." (These are, of course, currently funny. Next year it will be a different set of things)
7. Don't smile too much, and don't laugh at your own jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it releases the tension. If you can keep a straight face, the joke stays funnier longer.
OK, there's a list of basic things that I've learned about how to be funny. I'd recommend that you start studying humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.
Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humor. This is some good funny stuff.
How To Answer Any Question That You Don't Want To Answer
Women have a way with questions.
They seem to always ask questions that men don't want to answer.
Questions like:
"Are you seeing anyone else right now?"
"How do you feel about marriage?"
"Do you want kids?"
"How do you feel about me?"
"Do I look fat in these pants?"
Know what I'm talking about?
Well, it took me awhile, but I finally figured out how to deal with tough questions: Evasive Action.
Here's how it works. She asks you a tough question. You don't miss a beat, and answer with the answer she wants to hear. Then you throw in a slapstick comedy line.
For instance:
Say she asks: "Are you seeing other women?"
You answer: "No... other men."
Get it?
Here's another one:
She asks: "Do you love me?"
You answer: "Of course... as a friend."
And another:
She asks: "Where were you last night? I called."
You answer: "I was home thinking about you... but since you didn't call early enough, I went out and hired ten strippers."
At first, I figured that this tactic wouldn't work. But then I tried using it a few times, and behold, it worked in almost every situation.
And if she pushes and asks again: "Cummon, seriously..."
You say: "No, seriously. I was home thinking about you... OK, OK, you got me. I really went out with ten other women. Are you happy? What, are you feeling insecure?"
If you keep it up, they'll give up.
Make sure you don't act busted or nervous and it will work for you, too. Remember, women can take hints very well, and if they think that there's an answer that they don't want to hear, they'll give up and stop asking.
DIFFFERENT KINDS OF KISSES
Of course, there are different kinds of kisses. For instance, there is the kiss that the devout person implants on the ring of the Pope. There is the maternal kiss of a mother on her child. There is the friendly kiss of two people who are meeting or are separating. There is the kiss that a king exacts from his conquered subjects. But although all of these are called kisses, they are not the kisses* that we are going to concern ourselves with in this book. Our kisses are going to be the only kind of kisses worth considering . the kisses of love. The kiss perhaps, that Robert-Bums had in mind when he wrote:
Honeyed seal of soft affections, Tenderest pledge of future bliss, Dearest tie of young connections, Love's first snowdrop, virgin kiss.
The amazing thing about the kiss is that although mankind has been kissing ever since Adam first turned over on his side and saw Eve lying next to him, there has been practically nothing written on the subject. Every year, hundreds of books are published telling you how to reduce, how to gain, how to get a job, how to cook, how to write and even how to live. But, on the art of kissing, very little has been written. - One reason for this lack of proper instruction is accounted for by the Victorian. sense of morals which has persisted through the ages. To the blue-nosed Puritans of the past anything that concerned love was dirty, pornographical. John Bunyan's writings show what these, Puritans thought of' the kiss. He wrote in big infamous "The Pilgrim's Progress," "the common salutations of women I abhor. It is odious to me in whomsoever I see it. When I have seen good men salute those women that they have visted, or that have visited them, I have made my objections against it; and when they have answered that it was but a piece of civility, I have told them that it was not a comely sight. Some, indeed, have urged the holy kiss; but then, I have asked them why they make their balks; why they- did salute the most handsome and let the ill-favored ones go." Perhaps old Bunyan thought that way because be was one of the "ill-favored" who went unkissed and were let "go."
But, nowadays, people have taken a broader outlook on life. Our plays are becoming more civilized and less stiff. Our arts are no more censored by laws. Our books are being written about subjects that no self-respecting author would ever have dared to put into a book. Birth-control, divorce and the science of marriage are common subjects for books. Even the strange vices of mankind are brought out into the open and discussed and not allowed to fester in the dark chambers of censorship. Yes, books like Van de Velde's "Ideal Marriage" and Stope's "Married Love" Ire openly sold in bookstores. But, nowhere, do we find a book which instructs people in the art of kissing, an art which is an absolute essential to a happy -life, as we shall discuss in the oncoming pages of this book. Is it because we are not absolutely freed from the shackles of prudishness? In certain parts of this country, men have been arrested for kissing their wives on the street! Is this civilization?
So it is, that this book is being written. It is going to be a manual of the kiss. In it we are going to discuss the most approved methods of kissing, the ad' vantages. of certain kinds and, with the disadvantages of others, the mental and physical reactions of kissers, historical episodes of kissing together with examples from the literature of the world in which kisses were the subject. So, gird up your loins, pucker up your lips and let's to the kissing arena!
Honeyed seal of soft affections, Tenderest pledge of future bliss, Dearest tie of young connections, Love's first snowdrop, virgin kiss.
The amazing thing about the kiss is that although mankind has been kissing ever since Adam first turned over on his side and saw Eve lying next to him, there has been practically nothing written on the subject. Every year, hundreds of books are published telling you how to reduce, how to gain, how to get a job, how to cook, how to write and even how to live. But, on the art of kissing, very little has been written. - One reason for this lack of proper instruction is accounted for by the Victorian. sense of morals which has persisted through the ages. To the blue-nosed Puritans of the past anything that concerned love was dirty, pornographical. John Bunyan's writings show what these, Puritans thought of' the kiss. He wrote in big infamous "The Pilgrim's Progress," "the common salutations of women I abhor. It is odious to me in whomsoever I see it. When I have seen good men salute those women that they have visted, or that have visited them, I have made my objections against it; and when they have answered that it was but a piece of civility, I have told them that it was not a comely sight. Some, indeed, have urged the holy kiss; but then, I have asked them why they make their balks; why they- did salute the most handsome and let the ill-favored ones go." Perhaps old Bunyan thought that way because be was one of the "ill-favored" who went unkissed and were let "go."
But, nowadays, people have taken a broader outlook on life. Our plays are becoming more civilized and less stiff. Our arts are no more censored by laws. Our books are being written about subjects that no self-respecting author would ever have dared to put into a book. Birth-control, divorce and the science of marriage are common subjects for books. Even the strange vices of mankind are brought out into the open and discussed and not allowed to fester in the dark chambers of censorship. Yes, books like Van de Velde's "Ideal Marriage" and Stope's "Married Love" Ire openly sold in bookstores. But, nowhere, do we find a book which instructs people in the art of kissing, an art which is an absolute essential to a happy -life, as we shall discuss in the oncoming pages of this book. Is it because we are not absolutely freed from the shackles of prudishness? In certain parts of this country, men have been arrested for kissing their wives on the street! Is this civilization?
So it is, that this book is being written. It is going to be a manual of the kiss. In it we are going to discuss the most approved methods of kissing, the ad' vantages. of certain kinds and, with the disadvantages of others, the mental and physical reactions of kissers, historical episodes of kissing together with examples from the literature of the world in which kisses were the subject. So, gird up your loins, pucker up your lips and let's to the kissing arena!
Art of Kissing- Small Introduction
ARRANGE IT SO THAT THE GIRL IS SEATED AGAINST THE ARM OF THE SOFA"
The dictionary says that a kiss is "a salute made by touching with the lips pressed closely together and suddenly parting them." From this it is quite obvious that, although a dictionary-may know something about words, it knows nothing. about kissing.
If we are to get the real meaning of the word kiss, instead of going to the old fogies who compile dictionaries, we should go to the poets who still have the hot blood of youth coursing in their veins. For, instance, Coleridge called a kiss, "nectar breathing." Shakespeare says that a kiss is -a "seal of love. Martial, that old Roman poet who hid ample opportunity to do research work on the subject, says that a kiss was "the fragrance of balsam extracted- from aromatic trees; the rise odor yielded by the teeming saffron; the perfume of fruits mellowing in their winter buds; the flowery meadows in the summer; amber warmed by the hand of a girl; a bouquet of flowers that attracts the bees."
Yes, a kiss is all of these ... and more.
Others have said that a kiss was: the balm of love; the first and last of joys; love's language; the seal of bliss; love's tribute; the melting sip; the nectar of Venus; the language of love.
Yes, a kiss is all of these . . . and more.
For a kiss can never be absolutely defined. Because each kiss is different from the one before and the one after. just as no two people are alike, so are no two kisses alike. For it is people who make kisses. Real, live people pulsating with life and love and extreme happiness.
The dictionary says that a kiss is "a salute made by touching with the lips pressed closely together and suddenly parting them." From this it is quite obvious that, although a dictionary-may know something about words, it knows nothing. about kissing.
If we are to get the real meaning of the word kiss, instead of going to the old fogies who compile dictionaries, we should go to the poets who still have the hot blood of youth coursing in their veins. For, instance, Coleridge called a kiss, "nectar breathing." Shakespeare says that a kiss is -a "seal of love. Martial, that old Roman poet who hid ample opportunity to do research work on the subject, says that a kiss was "the fragrance of balsam extracted- from aromatic trees; the rise odor yielded by the teeming saffron; the perfume of fruits mellowing in their winter buds; the flowery meadows in the summer; amber warmed by the hand of a girl; a bouquet of flowers that attracts the bees."
Yes, a kiss is all of these ... and more.
Others have said that a kiss was: the balm of love; the first and last of joys; love's language; the seal of bliss; love's tribute; the melting sip; the nectar of Venus; the language of love.
Yes, a kiss is all of these . . . and more.
For a kiss can never be absolutely defined. Because each kiss is different from the one before and the one after. just as no two people are alike, so are no two kisses alike. For it is people who make kisses. Real, live people pulsating with life and love and extreme happiness.
Monday, July 7, 2008
How To Talk With Women - 1
How To Talk With Women
Now that you have learned how to use non-verbal language to attract, approach, and seduce women it is time to figure out how to talk with women. When talking with a woman, you want her to feel a connection with you. A woman wants a man to understand what she is saying, and men want a woman to feel at ease with him. These two things go hand in hand. If a woman feels that you understand her, she will feel more comfortable and she will be more likely to be receptive to your advances and go out with you.
This chapter is all about the spoken language. Once you’ve mastered the material in this chapter, your actions or words will never be misinterpreted again. You’ll learn the basics to having a successful conversation with any woman. You will learn what to say and what not to say, and a few general principles to keep in mind when talking to a woman.
Your Goal
There is one main reason you are talking to this woman - the chance you will get sexual with her. Maybe you want a relationship, maybe a one-night stand, but ultimately you want sex. You aren’t talking to her because you really want to learn more about her or carry on a conversation.
You are using conversation as a way to get closer to your goal of establishing an intimate relationship with her.
Women gauge their relationships on how well they relate to that person. If you want to relate with a woman you have to create emotional involvement. Of course, for you, conversation is a way to get more information about her. But for women it is more about how she interacts with you, and how you make her feel. It is important get along well with her if you want to see her again. This means a lot to a woman. Talk about what you like and dislike, ask her questions, and answer her questions. Offer your personal opinions as well. This will make her feel closer to you and she will move to a more personal conversation.
It is useful to try to attach a feeling to the facts she reveals to you. For example, ask her how she feels about her work, or, if you see her at the gym, tell her how much you admire that she takes care of her body. Tie in your feelings with the situation and/or any facts she gives you. Remember, the more comfortable you make her feel by understanding her, and showing emotion, the better chance you have of seeing her again. You need to use this conversation to build the foundation for a possible relationship with this woman.
The main goal of this conversation is to become personally involved with this woman and to get certain information from her. You need to get three vital pieces of information if you want to see her again.
Get Her Vitals
Before we discuss how to talk to women, let us talk about what the conversation should get us. When you first meet a woman, there are three pieces of personal information you must get from her. The whole basis of your relationship depends on getting this information. Success or failure at this task will determine whether or not you will see her again. You must make it your priority to get this vital information when talking to a woman that you have just met and that you’re interested in. Focus on these three very important pieces of information.
Vital Fact #1: Her Name
When you introduce yourself to her, ask for her name right away. Be sure to use her name in the next couple of sentences. Women appreciate a guy who actually pays attention, and using her name will show her that you are interested in her. Repeating her name back to her is also a good way for you to remember it, and to make sure you heard her correctly. The more you pay attention to a woman, the more she will like you.
Vital Fact #2: A Common Thread
You need to ask her a couple of questions to get more information about her. Find a way for the two of you to be connected. This might be a common interest, a mutual friend, or the same favorite drink. You want to use this common factor to relate to her, and you want to give her a reason to trust you.
Vital Fact #3: Her Number
Before the conversation comes to an end, you must make sure you have a way to get in touch with her. This usually means her phone number. Or, ask for her email address. In this day and age there aren’t too many people that don’t have email either at home or at work. You will learn more about getting her number in Chapter 10 How to Get and Execute a Date. Know these three pieces of information, and make it your priority to get them from every woman you are interested in.
The Basics
Now that you know about getting a woman’s vitals, you need to know how to talk to her. This can be harder than it sounds. When you try to compare the way men talk to each other and the way women talk to each other it’s like comparing apples and oranges.
Now that you have learned how to use non-verbal language to attract, approach, and seduce women it is time to figure out how to talk with women. When talking with a woman, you want her to feel a connection with you. A woman wants a man to understand what she is saying, and men want a woman to feel at ease with him. These two things go hand in hand. If a woman feels that you understand her, she will feel more comfortable and she will be more likely to be receptive to your advances and go out with you.
This chapter is all about the spoken language. Once you’ve mastered the material in this chapter, your actions or words will never be misinterpreted again. You’ll learn the basics to having a successful conversation with any woman. You will learn what to say and what not to say, and a few general principles to keep in mind when talking to a woman.
Your Goal
There is one main reason you are talking to this woman - the chance you will get sexual with her. Maybe you want a relationship, maybe a one-night stand, but ultimately you want sex. You aren’t talking to her because you really want to learn more about her or carry on a conversation.
You are using conversation as a way to get closer to your goal of establishing an intimate relationship with her.
Women gauge their relationships on how well they relate to that person. If you want to relate with a woman you have to create emotional involvement. Of course, for you, conversation is a way to get more information about her. But for women it is more about how she interacts with you, and how you make her feel. It is important get along well with her if you want to see her again. This means a lot to a woman. Talk about what you like and dislike, ask her questions, and answer her questions. Offer your personal opinions as well. This will make her feel closer to you and she will move to a more personal conversation.
It is useful to try to attach a feeling to the facts she reveals to you. For example, ask her how she feels about her work, or, if you see her at the gym, tell her how much you admire that she takes care of her body. Tie in your feelings with the situation and/or any facts she gives you. Remember, the more comfortable you make her feel by understanding her, and showing emotion, the better chance you have of seeing her again. You need to use this conversation to build the foundation for a possible relationship with this woman.
The main goal of this conversation is to become personally involved with this woman and to get certain information from her. You need to get three vital pieces of information if you want to see her again.
Get Her Vitals
Before we discuss how to talk to women, let us talk about what the conversation should get us. When you first meet a woman, there are three pieces of personal information you must get from her. The whole basis of your relationship depends on getting this information. Success or failure at this task will determine whether or not you will see her again. You must make it your priority to get this vital information when talking to a woman that you have just met and that you’re interested in. Focus on these three very important pieces of information.
Vital Fact #1: Her Name
When you introduce yourself to her, ask for her name right away. Be sure to use her name in the next couple of sentences. Women appreciate a guy who actually pays attention, and using her name will show her that you are interested in her. Repeating her name back to her is also a good way for you to remember it, and to make sure you heard her correctly. The more you pay attention to a woman, the more she will like you.
Vital Fact #2: A Common Thread
You need to ask her a couple of questions to get more information about her. Find a way for the two of you to be connected. This might be a common interest, a mutual friend, or the same favorite drink. You want to use this common factor to relate to her, and you want to give her a reason to trust you.
Vital Fact #3: Her Number
Before the conversation comes to an end, you must make sure you have a way to get in touch with her. This usually means her phone number. Or, ask for her email address. In this day and age there aren’t too many people that don’t have email either at home or at work. You will learn more about getting her number in Chapter 10 How to Get and Execute a Date. Know these three pieces of information, and make it your priority to get them from every woman you are interested in.
The Basics
Now that you know about getting a woman’s vitals, you need to know how to talk to her. This can be harder than it sounds. When you try to compare the way men talk to each other and the way women talk to each other it’s like comparing apples and oranges.
How To Talk With Women - 2
Men talk facts, women talk feelings.
If you want to talk the same language as women then you need to express emotion when you talk. Inherently, men aren’t very good at this, and that is why the first thing you should do in a conversation is listen to her. You need to listen to her and relate to her conversation. Ask questions about what she is telling you, and involve yourself in her future. You need to learn how to share personal experiences with a woman to create an intimate connection.
Listen
The first thing you want to do while having a conversation with a woman is to listen. Too often, men ramble on about themselves leaving their date bored and feeling ignored. You want your date to open up, to share personal feelings and opinions, and to establish a trustful relationship with you. When a man listens to a woman, and really pays attention to what she is saying, she feels that he is genuinely interested in her for her, not just for her body.
Women want a man to show genuine interest in her life, her opinions, and her contributions to the conversation.
Women don’t want a self-absorbed guy who only talks about himself, and who is just trying to get into her pants. Of course, this can be your ultimate goal; you just need to play it cool with a woman in the beginning, until she feels an emotional connection with you. Reassure her that you are listening by nodding at her and by making verbal comments such as "uh-huh," "yeah," and "oh really." Once a woman feels that you understand her, and you want to know all about her, she will relax and become more inclined to go to bed with you.
Show Interest and Ask Questions
When you are listening to a woman speak, you need to reassure her that you understand what she is saying. Use positive verbal comments, as I have outlined above, and be attentive. Involve yourself in the conversation and demonstrate your interest. Ask questions about what she is telling you. You want to ask her What? and How? questions to get more information from her. You mustn’t ask her Why? questions, though, as it will put her on the defensive and she may feel threatened. You don’t want to lose all the ground you’ve made so far by asking her an offensive question. Get background information about her: Did she grow up in this city? Where did she go to school? What brought her to this city, if she has moved here? Ask her about her work, what she likes about her work. If she is telling you about a current situation or a problem she is having, ask her questions about how she feels, how she might deal with her situation, or what she has done so far to solve the problem. Show some interest and be involved in the conversation and you will surely impress her.
What NOT to Say
When you first meet a woman, you want to give her your best impression. When you read Chapter 3 What Women Want you learned the importance of a good first impression. This is when you want to portray your most attractive qualities. You don’t want to be rude, obnoxious, or degrading in front of a woman you are interested in. Do not talk about old girlfriends, do not make rude or sexual comments, and don’t criticize her or put her down. A woman won’t respond well to a man who is rude to her.
The fastest way to get rejected is to give a woman no attention or to give her negative attention. She needs to feel relaxed and open around a man if she is going to go out with him. Remember that you want to get along with a woman you are interested in. You need her to feel comfortable around you. If she is feeling threatened or insulted she will not be open to your advances. Never insult her, belittle her, or hurt her. This may sound obvious, but never ever do these things if you want to keep talking to a woman. If you insult her, she will immediately form a negative opinion of you and become defensive. Your chances with her are non-existent if you don’t show her respect.
Never look for pity love. Don’t tell her a sob story about how your dog is sick, or about how you just got dumped. Women don’t respect a man who looks for pity love. In her eyes, you are trying to use an unfortunate circumstance to get into her bed. Women have no patience for this behavior. Women also don’t have patience for pick-up lines like "Do you come here often?" A woman wants to feel that you are interested in her, not just any woman.
In addition, you should never say negative things about yourself. Use this time to show her all you have to offer. You want her to be attracted to you. Never verbalize submission – don’t apologize, don’t whine, don’t complain, and don’t criticize yourself or what you do. If she asks you what you do for a living, never say, "Oh, I’m just a _____." By using the word "just" you are telling her that you aren’t proud of what you do. She will get the impression that you lack confidence, and she will see this as a negative characteristic. You have to be relaxed and confident when you talk to a woman. You want her to see your positive traits so that she will be interested in getting to know you better.
Remember That…
Every time you engage in a conversation with a new prospect, you will be trying to get her vitals. You also need to find out if she is actually single, and if she is looking to meet someone. Most women will give you an honest answer if you ask her if she is single. You also should use comments in the conversation to clearly indicate that you are single. You don’t want to waste your time on a girl who isn’t looking for the same thing as you are. If she keeps talking to you, she is probably interested in you. However, watch out for women who are just out to boost their egos by leading on guys. These women enjoy the thrill of the chase but they have no intentions on following through on their actions. It is often difficult to spot these women, but here are a few clues to watch for: she is wearing a wedding ring; she seems to be flirting with and picking up several men in a short time; her gestures are flirty but not sexual; or she refuses to give her number when you ask.
During a conversation you need to balance asking questions and sharing information. Listen and pay attention to what she tells you, and be sure share your interests, passions and goals with her. You want to show this woman that you are sensitive and caring. It’s okay to appear vulnerable if it will help you get a woman into bed. It is natural to feel anxious when talking to an attractive woman for the first time. Just behave the way you would during your first day at a new job - listen, smile and be agreeable. If you are nervous it is better to tell her you are nervous than to continually fidget with your straw or a napkin. Don’t be afraid to use comedy to ease tension. If you stumble on your words, make a joke about being so nervous around her that you can’t even talk. Just try to laugh it off.
When you meet a woman and are trying to have a good conversation with her, allow it to flow naturally. Don’t try to steer the conversation too soon. Just relax and enjoy talking to the woman in front of you. If you try to rush the conversation you may appear desperate, in which case you won’t get her number. You want to project confidence and have fun.
Be sure of yourself, relax , have fun and show your interest.
If you want to talk the same language as women then you need to express emotion when you talk. Inherently, men aren’t very good at this, and that is why the first thing you should do in a conversation is listen to her. You need to listen to her and relate to her conversation. Ask questions about what she is telling you, and involve yourself in her future. You need to learn how to share personal experiences with a woman to create an intimate connection.
Listen
The first thing you want to do while having a conversation with a woman is to listen. Too often, men ramble on about themselves leaving their date bored and feeling ignored. You want your date to open up, to share personal feelings and opinions, and to establish a trustful relationship with you. When a man listens to a woman, and really pays attention to what she is saying, she feels that he is genuinely interested in her for her, not just for her body.
Women want a man to show genuine interest in her life, her opinions, and her contributions to the conversation.
Women don’t want a self-absorbed guy who only talks about himself, and who is just trying to get into her pants. Of course, this can be your ultimate goal; you just need to play it cool with a woman in the beginning, until she feels an emotional connection with you. Reassure her that you are listening by nodding at her and by making verbal comments such as "uh-huh," "yeah," and "oh really." Once a woman feels that you understand her, and you want to know all about her, she will relax and become more inclined to go to bed with you.
Show Interest and Ask Questions
When you are listening to a woman speak, you need to reassure her that you understand what she is saying. Use positive verbal comments, as I have outlined above, and be attentive. Involve yourself in the conversation and demonstrate your interest. Ask questions about what she is telling you. You want to ask her What? and How? questions to get more information from her. You mustn’t ask her Why? questions, though, as it will put her on the defensive and she may feel threatened. You don’t want to lose all the ground you’ve made so far by asking her an offensive question. Get background information about her: Did she grow up in this city? Where did she go to school? What brought her to this city, if she has moved here? Ask her about her work, what she likes about her work. If she is telling you about a current situation or a problem she is having, ask her questions about how she feels, how she might deal with her situation, or what she has done so far to solve the problem. Show some interest and be involved in the conversation and you will surely impress her.
What NOT to Say
When you first meet a woman, you want to give her your best impression. When you read Chapter 3 What Women Want you learned the importance of a good first impression. This is when you want to portray your most attractive qualities. You don’t want to be rude, obnoxious, or degrading in front of a woman you are interested in. Do not talk about old girlfriends, do not make rude or sexual comments, and don’t criticize her or put her down. A woman won’t respond well to a man who is rude to her.
The fastest way to get rejected is to give a woman no attention or to give her negative attention. She needs to feel relaxed and open around a man if she is going to go out with him. Remember that you want to get along with a woman you are interested in. You need her to feel comfortable around you. If she is feeling threatened or insulted she will not be open to your advances. Never insult her, belittle her, or hurt her. This may sound obvious, but never ever do these things if you want to keep talking to a woman. If you insult her, she will immediately form a negative opinion of you and become defensive. Your chances with her are non-existent if you don’t show her respect.
Never look for pity love. Don’t tell her a sob story about how your dog is sick, or about how you just got dumped. Women don’t respect a man who looks for pity love. In her eyes, you are trying to use an unfortunate circumstance to get into her bed. Women have no patience for this behavior. Women also don’t have patience for pick-up lines like "Do you come here often?" A woman wants to feel that you are interested in her, not just any woman.
In addition, you should never say negative things about yourself. Use this time to show her all you have to offer. You want her to be attracted to you. Never verbalize submission – don’t apologize, don’t whine, don’t complain, and don’t criticize yourself or what you do. If she asks you what you do for a living, never say, "Oh, I’m just a _____." By using the word "just" you are telling her that you aren’t proud of what you do. She will get the impression that you lack confidence, and she will see this as a negative characteristic. You have to be relaxed and confident when you talk to a woman. You want her to see your positive traits so that she will be interested in getting to know you better.
Remember That…
Every time you engage in a conversation with a new prospect, you will be trying to get her vitals. You also need to find out if she is actually single, and if she is looking to meet someone. Most women will give you an honest answer if you ask her if she is single. You also should use comments in the conversation to clearly indicate that you are single. You don’t want to waste your time on a girl who isn’t looking for the same thing as you are. If she keeps talking to you, she is probably interested in you. However, watch out for women who are just out to boost their egos by leading on guys. These women enjoy the thrill of the chase but they have no intentions on following through on their actions. It is often difficult to spot these women, but here are a few clues to watch for: she is wearing a wedding ring; she seems to be flirting with and picking up several men in a short time; her gestures are flirty but not sexual; or she refuses to give her number when you ask.
During a conversation you need to balance asking questions and sharing information. Listen and pay attention to what she tells you, and be sure share your interests, passions and goals with her. You want to show this woman that you are sensitive and caring. It’s okay to appear vulnerable if it will help you get a woman into bed. It is natural to feel anxious when talking to an attractive woman for the first time. Just behave the way you would during your first day at a new job - listen, smile and be agreeable. If you are nervous it is better to tell her you are nervous than to continually fidget with your straw or a napkin. Don’t be afraid to use comedy to ease tension. If you stumble on your words, make a joke about being so nervous around her that you can’t even talk. Just try to laugh it off.
When you meet a woman and are trying to have a good conversation with her, allow it to flow naturally. Don’t try to steer the conversation too soon. Just relax and enjoy talking to the woman in front of you. If you try to rush the conversation you may appear desperate, in which case you won’t get her number. You want to project confidence and have fun.
Be sure of yourself, relax , have fun and show your interest.
How To Successfully Approach Women
Approaching women doesn’t have to be difficult. You might think that there are a million different things to know about your approach, but that isn’t the case. It is true that there are many different situations where you could approach a woman but these situations share a number of factors. It is possible to break down all the possible ways to approach women into a few basic techniques. This chapter describes these approach techniques, as well as other considerations to keep in mind when trying to pick up a woman.
Recognize the Opportunity
It’s been said before - anytime and anywhere is the right time and the right place to meet a woman. You are surrounded by endless opportunities to approach women; you just need to see them all! Each time you notice an attractive woman crossing your path, be aware that this may be the only time you’ll ever see her.
You must initiate a conversation, build a trustful connection, and get her vitals!
If you want to see a woman again, you have to act quickly on the situation. Learn to recognize all the opportunities how to take advantage of them. You will learn how easy it is to turn a brief encounter into a
telephone number and a date.
Icebreakers and Success Makers
The best icebreaker is saying "Hi" with a smile. Simple, yet true. Once you start a conversation, you should say something that will encourage further response from her. The next line should be a statement or a
question that shows interest in her. You could compliment her, or comment on something she is wearing or carrying. Whatever your approach, it will likely fall into one of four basic approach techniques. These techniques are defined below for you to learn and practice. Adapt these suggestions to your personal style, and do what you feel comfortable with. Use these techniques together or separately to get the success you want.
1. Use a Compliment
Every woman needs to feel appreciated. An honest compliment is an easy way to show your appreciation for her and the care she takes to look good. Compliment her outfit, her hair, her eyes, or her manicured fingernails - something specific about her that you are attracted to. A compliment can work great for opening conversation with a woman as long as you put some thought into it. You do not want to sound cheesy or pre-rehearsed. You also don’t want to give her a compliment that she may have already heard. Get creative and personal with your compliments. Use something that she is doing or wearing to personalize the compliment.
When you see a woman you want to talk to, look at her carefully. Notice something about her that you like, and tell her what you like about it. Be truthful when you compliment her - women can sense sincerity.
When you are figuring out what to say as a compliment you should think of these three structures: use an analogy, follow a compliment with a question, or ask her about what she does. When making an analogy try to compare her to another object. Tell her that her lips or her eyes remind you of something. Or, tell her that the blue in her shirt brings out her eyes. If you are going to follow a compliment with a question notice something about her and figure out if there is anything that you might like to know. For example, if she is wearing a St. Christopher is she religious? If she is wearing a unique ring ask her if she picked it out, or if it is an heirloom.
The third structure is to compliment what she does. If you meet her in her workplace, and she is doing a phenomenal job, then tell her you are impressed. If she works with children or she volunteers somewhere tell her that you admire the time she spends helping others.
It is important to notice something about her, and not to use a general come-on line.
No matter what type of compliment you decide to give her, be sure to personalize it. It helps to memorize a few generic lines and tailor them to the woman you are talking to at the time.
2. Use a Conversation Piece
This type of comment or question involves observing her, and her possessions and drawing a conclusion - correct or incorrect, it doesn’t matter - and using it to start a conversation with a woman. Always look at the woman you are interested in to see if she is wearing or carrying anything you could comment on. This could be a book, a briefcase, a gym bag, a shopping bag, or anything! Use this object to strike up a conversation. Ask which gym she works out at, or if she would recommend the book she is reading. If she is sporting a company logo ask how she is affiliated with that company. If she is wearing a unique piece of jewelry ask her about it. Is it an heirloom? What stone is it? If you meet a woman in your office building and she is carrying a briefcase, or papers, then ask her if she works in the building.
Using a conversation piece as an icebreaker can be very effective and can be used anywhere. It is especially good if you briefly meet a woman, as you can adapt it to any location. If you keep probing her for information, and time runs out, then you have the opportunity to ask her to lunch. Ask for her number, or give her your card.
3. Discuss the Situation
Another aspect to consider is where you are, or the event you are both attending. Using location to open a conversation is already personalized because you are both in the same place. If it is a party, you can always talk about someone else - maybe there is one very drunk guy who is making a fool of himself. Laughing at other people seems to be a great way to bond.
Use a comment about the current situation to call attention to the fact that you are both "here now!" If you refer back to the list of places and activities given in Chapter 5 Where Women Can Be Found, you will notice that the middle column is a list of places that would indicate a common interest. If you are both at a sports event, comment on the game. If you are at an Art Gallery, point out that you both like the same painting. Meeting a woman at a place such as those listed is a suitable situation to point out that you share an interest.
If you are in a situation where you don’t know anyone, and you see a woman you’d really like to meet then walk over to her. Be honest about your attraction. Tell her that you want to meet her, but you don’t know anyone to introduce you. Then introduce yourself and start a conversation. You have nothing to lose by introducing yourself to a woman. Once you start the conversation keep in mind your objective to get her vitals and then ask questions to get the information you need.
4. Ask Her a General Question
Tried, tested, and trued. This technique is a simple, effective way to engage in conversation with an attractive woman. Look at the woman you want to talk to and ask her any question - from "Do you have the time?" to "How do you like the snow?" (Weather permitting, of course!) It is better to ask a good question to which you might actually need the answer. You could ask her where a certain restaurant is, or how to find the nearest bank. Any kind of question could be used to approach a woman, but the more you can relate it to the situation, the better off you’ll be. You can combine this technique with any other and it will be even more effective.
You can use questions as general or as specific as you like.
You don’t have to be a smooth talker to get a woman to respond with this approach. Even if you don’t actually need the information, asking a question will open the door to further communication.
Summarizing Your Approach
Whichever approach you use, remember to personalize your approach. Women want to feel appreciated, so pay attention. When you personalize a comment or a question, she’ll take note of your attentiveness and she will hopefully accept your invitation to chat. Once you break the ice with a woman, you need to get her phone number to ensure future communication. Chapter 10 How to Get and Execute a Date will explore in depth the next steps of dating.
Recognize the Opportunity
It’s been said before - anytime and anywhere is the right time and the right place to meet a woman. You are surrounded by endless opportunities to approach women; you just need to see them all! Each time you notice an attractive woman crossing your path, be aware that this may be the only time you’ll ever see her.
You must initiate a conversation, build a trustful connection, and get her vitals!
If you want to see a woman again, you have to act quickly on the situation. Learn to recognize all the opportunities how to take advantage of them. You will learn how easy it is to turn a brief encounter into a
telephone number and a date.
Icebreakers and Success Makers
The best icebreaker is saying "Hi" with a smile. Simple, yet true. Once you start a conversation, you should say something that will encourage further response from her. The next line should be a statement or a
question that shows interest in her. You could compliment her, or comment on something she is wearing or carrying. Whatever your approach, it will likely fall into one of four basic approach techniques. These techniques are defined below for you to learn and practice. Adapt these suggestions to your personal style, and do what you feel comfortable with. Use these techniques together or separately to get the success you want.
1. Use a Compliment
Every woman needs to feel appreciated. An honest compliment is an easy way to show your appreciation for her and the care she takes to look good. Compliment her outfit, her hair, her eyes, or her manicured fingernails - something specific about her that you are attracted to. A compliment can work great for opening conversation with a woman as long as you put some thought into it. You do not want to sound cheesy or pre-rehearsed. You also don’t want to give her a compliment that she may have already heard. Get creative and personal with your compliments. Use something that she is doing or wearing to personalize the compliment.
When you see a woman you want to talk to, look at her carefully. Notice something about her that you like, and tell her what you like about it. Be truthful when you compliment her - women can sense sincerity.
When you are figuring out what to say as a compliment you should think of these three structures: use an analogy, follow a compliment with a question, or ask her about what she does. When making an analogy try to compare her to another object. Tell her that her lips or her eyes remind you of something. Or, tell her that the blue in her shirt brings out her eyes. If you are going to follow a compliment with a question notice something about her and figure out if there is anything that you might like to know. For example, if she is wearing a St. Christopher is she religious? If she is wearing a unique ring ask her if she picked it out, or if it is an heirloom.
The third structure is to compliment what she does. If you meet her in her workplace, and she is doing a phenomenal job, then tell her you are impressed. If she works with children or she volunteers somewhere tell her that you admire the time she spends helping others.
It is important to notice something about her, and not to use a general come-on line.
No matter what type of compliment you decide to give her, be sure to personalize it. It helps to memorize a few generic lines and tailor them to the woman you are talking to at the time.
2. Use a Conversation Piece
This type of comment or question involves observing her, and her possessions and drawing a conclusion - correct or incorrect, it doesn’t matter - and using it to start a conversation with a woman. Always look at the woman you are interested in to see if she is wearing or carrying anything you could comment on. This could be a book, a briefcase, a gym bag, a shopping bag, or anything! Use this object to strike up a conversation. Ask which gym she works out at, or if she would recommend the book she is reading. If she is sporting a company logo ask how she is affiliated with that company. If she is wearing a unique piece of jewelry ask her about it. Is it an heirloom? What stone is it? If you meet a woman in your office building and she is carrying a briefcase, or papers, then ask her if she works in the building.
Using a conversation piece as an icebreaker can be very effective and can be used anywhere. It is especially good if you briefly meet a woman, as you can adapt it to any location. If you keep probing her for information, and time runs out, then you have the opportunity to ask her to lunch. Ask for her number, or give her your card.
3. Discuss the Situation
Another aspect to consider is where you are, or the event you are both attending. Using location to open a conversation is already personalized because you are both in the same place. If it is a party, you can always talk about someone else - maybe there is one very drunk guy who is making a fool of himself. Laughing at other people seems to be a great way to bond.
Use a comment about the current situation to call attention to the fact that you are both "here now!" If you refer back to the list of places and activities given in Chapter 5 Where Women Can Be Found, you will notice that the middle column is a list of places that would indicate a common interest. If you are both at a sports event, comment on the game. If you are at an Art Gallery, point out that you both like the same painting. Meeting a woman at a place such as those listed is a suitable situation to point out that you share an interest.
If you are in a situation where you don’t know anyone, and you see a woman you’d really like to meet then walk over to her. Be honest about your attraction. Tell her that you want to meet her, but you don’t know anyone to introduce you. Then introduce yourself and start a conversation. You have nothing to lose by introducing yourself to a woman. Once you start the conversation keep in mind your objective to get her vitals and then ask questions to get the information you need.
4. Ask Her a General Question
Tried, tested, and trued. This technique is a simple, effective way to engage in conversation with an attractive woman. Look at the woman you want to talk to and ask her any question - from "Do you have the time?" to "How do you like the snow?" (Weather permitting, of course!) It is better to ask a good question to which you might actually need the answer. You could ask her where a certain restaurant is, or how to find the nearest bank. Any kind of question could be used to approach a woman, but the more you can relate it to the situation, the better off you’ll be. You can combine this technique with any other and it will be even more effective.
You can use questions as general or as specific as you like.
You don’t have to be a smooth talker to get a woman to respond with this approach. Even if you don’t actually need the information, asking a question will open the door to further communication.
Summarizing Your Approach
Whichever approach you use, remember to personalize your approach. Women want to feel appreciated, so pay attention. When you personalize a comment or a question, she’ll take note of your attentiveness and she will hopefully accept your invitation to chat. Once you break the ice with a woman, you need to get her phone number to ensure future communication. Chapter 10 How to Get and Execute a Date will explore in depth the next steps of dating.
How To Get And Execute A Date
Once you start a conversation with a woman, you need to get her vitals. (You know all about getting her vitals from Chapter 8.) The most important piece of information to get is a means of future communication. You need to be able to get in touch with this woman to set up a date with her! Usually this means her number, either work or home. You can also consider asking for her email address, her location of work, or any other information that will help you contact her again soon. You will call her or visit her at work, or go to the same cafe that she frequents in hopes of seeing her. For the purposes of our discussions, I will primarily refer to her means of contact as her phone number.
To give out personal information, a woman needs to see a possible future with you. You need to impress this woman, talk to her and ask for her number. Once you get her number you have to know how to handle the phone call, the first date, and any subsequent dates. This chapter will help you make as few mistakes as possible when getting and executing a date. If you can master the art of getting a telephone number, then you are on the right track to getting all the women you could ever want!
Basic Considerations
Before you start walking up to women and asking them out, there are a few things you should know first. Here are some basic considerations to keep in mind when asking for a number, calling a woman, and asking her out for a date. These concerns are often overlooked because men don’t often consider these important points. This section will also address concerns that come up during the dating process. Take a good read through this material and make sure you don’t make any of the avoidable mistakes.
Prove You Are Trustworthy
Before a woman gives out her number to any man, she must be able to trust him. You should try to reassure her that you a normal, honest, hardworking guy who is worthy of her trust. Always offer your name in your introduction, and ask hers if she doesn’t offer it in her immediate reply. Try to use her name in the next couple of sentences to show her that you are courteous and attentive.
In your conversation, allude to your stable job, your involvement in a local sports team, or your friends values if possible. You could tell her that you are exhausted from your soccer practice last night, or invite her out to a game on the weekend. Tell her you were visiting your parents on the weekend. Say anything (with some truth to it!) that will portray you as a sound, stable man. You want her to see you as a man worth getting to know - responsible, legitimate, and trustworthy. Reassure her that you are a decent guy before you ask for her number, so she is sure to agree.
Use a Business Card
An excellent way to establish credibility right away is to offer a woman your business card. This indicates stability and it is a way for her to verify what you tell her. If you tell her that you work in the same building, then present your business card, you establish trust. She will know right away if you are being honest. A business card is a little classier, too, when writing down a woman’s number. You will never again have to dig through your pockets or your wallet looking for a scrap piece of paper. If you don’t already have a business card, get some made up. If you don’t have a job that warrants a card, you can always make up a
humorous occupation, like Lion Tamer or Breakfast Chef. This could be a great conversation piece, and you could have some fun with it if you wanted.
Get Her Number, Even if She Has Yours
Despite the fact that you have given a woman your card, you should always try to get her number. It comes back to the whole initiation thing… she might never call you if you give her your number, but you will surely make the first move to call her. You really want to go out with this woman, so you want to ensure you’ll have the chance to set up a date with her. Get her number.
To give out personal information, a woman needs to see a possible future with you. You need to impress this woman, talk to her and ask for her number. Once you get her number you have to know how to handle the phone call, the first date, and any subsequent dates. This chapter will help you make as few mistakes as possible when getting and executing a date. If you can master the art of getting a telephone number, then you are on the right track to getting all the women you could ever want!
Basic Considerations
Before you start walking up to women and asking them out, there are a few things you should know first. Here are some basic considerations to keep in mind when asking for a number, calling a woman, and asking her out for a date. These concerns are often overlooked because men don’t often consider these important points. This section will also address concerns that come up during the dating process. Take a good read through this material and make sure you don’t make any of the avoidable mistakes.
Prove You Are Trustworthy
Before a woman gives out her number to any man, she must be able to trust him. You should try to reassure her that you a normal, honest, hardworking guy who is worthy of her trust. Always offer your name in your introduction, and ask hers if she doesn’t offer it in her immediate reply. Try to use her name in the next couple of sentences to show her that you are courteous and attentive.
In your conversation, allude to your stable job, your involvement in a local sports team, or your friends values if possible. You could tell her that you are exhausted from your soccer practice last night, or invite her out to a game on the weekend. Tell her you were visiting your parents on the weekend. Say anything (with some truth to it!) that will portray you as a sound, stable man. You want her to see you as a man worth getting to know - responsible, legitimate, and trustworthy. Reassure her that you are a decent guy before you ask for her number, so she is sure to agree.
Use a Business Card
An excellent way to establish credibility right away is to offer a woman your business card. This indicates stability and it is a way for her to verify what you tell her. If you tell her that you work in the same building, then present your business card, you establish trust. She will know right away if you are being honest. A business card is a little classier, too, when writing down a woman’s number. You will never again have to dig through your pockets or your wallet looking for a scrap piece of paper. If you don’t already have a business card, get some made up. If you don’t have a job that warrants a card, you can always make up a
humorous occupation, like Lion Tamer or Breakfast Chef. This could be a great conversation piece, and you could have some fun with it if you wanted.
Get Her Number, Even if She Has Yours
Despite the fact that you have given a woman your card, you should always try to get her number. It comes back to the whole initiation thing… she might never call you if you give her your number, but you will surely make the first move to call her. You really want to go out with this woman, so you want to ensure you’ll have the chance to set up a date with her. Get her number.
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