I've done a lot of research on this topic, and I believe that women are most attracted to these six thing:
1) Means (Wealth, possessions, gifts to them or providing for them)
2) Power (Influence, Leadership, provide safety)
3) Fame
4) Looks (Including height)
5) Exclusivity (Royalty, already married, hard to get, affiliation)
6) Personality (Humor, creativity, romance, intelligence, mystique etc.)
Now, numbers one through five are largely out of your immediate control. If you're not rich, you're probably not going to get rich this week. If you're not famous or tall, you're probably not going to be in a hit movie or grow 6 inches in the next 24 hours.
So that leaves us with number six, PERSONALITY.
The good news is that as far as I'm concerned, your personality is your GREATEST ASSET in the success-with-women game.
Fortunately, it's the one thing you can change. And it's the one thing that can OVERCOME all of the rest. After you've done what you can to look your best, etc. you have to develop a personality that's absolutely magnetic. Now let's talk about how you can do just that.
By the way, the one quality that attracts women the most (and keeps them attracted) is not something that they can initially 'look' for. It's the way they FEEL when they are with you or thinking of you. In the end, if you don't have wealth, power, fame, or looks you're going to have to use your personality to make them FEEL good. In the end, your personality is the most powerful weapon you have.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Personality Traits That Attract Women
In the next chapter, I'm going to describe MY particular unique personality and the 'character' that I become when I'm meeting women.
But before I do that, I'd like to talk about some of the different personality traits that women find most attractive. Some are better when used with others, and some don't work well together. Here is the list with brief descriptions. I'll talk more about combining after.
• Funny. Humor is just plain powerful with women. If you can keep her laughing, you will go far.
• Intelligent and Creative. Intelligence is sexy IF it's used in a way that's interesting to her. Use your creativity and intelligence to surprise her with ideas, fantasies and unexpected things that
charm her.
• Educated. Education is attractive to women as long as it's used in an interesting way. Some women are actually intimidated by education, as they're not educated (This usually works in your favor).
• Classy and Cultured. If you have class, women pick up on this. Do your shoes and belt match? Do you understand interior design and color contrast? Do you know about different types of wine? Do you like foreign movies? Do you understand fashion? Do you like Frank Sinatra? Do you enjoy exotic foods? Do you serve her Hors d'oeuvres and a glass of wine when she visits? Do you open all doors for her? Women notice this stuff BIG TIME.
• Dominant. Women have an unconscious attraction to dominant men. The dominant males in some primate groups account for up to 75% of all the matings, while the less dominant males go
without. Same goes for humans.
• Thoughtful. Women don't just like gifts, they like knowing that you were THINKING of them. The gift is a SYMBOL. Women feel the same amount of good inside whether it's a card or a diamond (of course the diamond lasts longer, so there are more times of feeling good!'). But the fact is that women like to know that you're thinking about them. Even if you're telling a woman that you don't like it that she was out with another guy, she'll like it, because it means you were thinking about her!
• Notices Significant Details. Women don't just notice details, they USE them to try to be attractive and attentive. If she is wearing a sexy outfit, she didn't put it on by accident. If her hair is done nicely, it wasn't a fluke. Women are very impressed and attracted to men that notice these details.
• Unpredictable/Predictable. Here's a paradox. Women are drawn to men that they can't control or predict. They obsess over guys who flirt and give them attention, then don't call the
next day. Predictability is only attractive when it comes to choosing a HUSBAND. Then a woman usually wants a man who's VERY predictable.
• Enthusiastic, Fun, Happy. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a killjoy. Some men get upset and pout when a woman is happy, and try to put down the things that she enjoys to sound superior. This is usually a HUGE mistake. Enthusiasm is infectious and attractive.
• Adventurous. Women are instantly attracted to men who like to do extreme, adventurous, unusual, even dangerous things. It's exciting. Adventurism is sexy.
• Aggressive. Women love men that know what they want and go after it. Passion is a sign of life. I'm not talking about the kind of aggressive that turns into date rape. I'm talking about the kind
of aggressive that turns into setting a goal and then going after it with passion and getting it no matter what.
Confident/Cocky. Women are magnetically attracted to men who are just a little bit too cocky. Just a little bit. This is a tough one to explain. Many men take this to mean 'overly arrogant' which is not what I mean. If you watch Pierce Brosnan in 'The Thomas Crown Affair' or Clarke Gable in 'Gone With The Wind' or Tom Cruise in 'Top Gun' you'll get an idea of what I'm talking
about. The confident/cocky trait is mild overconfidence combined with humor. Drives women wild.
• Expertise. If you're an expert in an area that is interesting to your kind of woman, this can be attractive. It needs to be presented from a "I know a lot about this, let me show you"
perspective, not a "I'm cool and you're not" angle.
• Attention. Women like attention. And interestingly enough, it's better to hint at the attention that you're giving them than to be too overt about it. If you say "I was thinking about you earlier
today. And I just wanted to mention that I really like the sound of your voice..." it's much more powerful than listening to them complain about something so they think you're paying attention.
Get it?
• Disinterest, Indifference, a Challenge. Most women are used to being pursued by men in one way or another. If you are indifferent to a woman, make her think that you're only calling because you're bored, and act almost disinterested sexually, they'll often do their very best to get your attention. Different is good in this case. Again, this drives most women crazy, and
even though they'd hate to admit it, it's ultra interesting tothem.
• Charm (attention with a polished, smooth approach). This is hard to describe. Watch a James Bond movie to get an idea. And watch 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.' Pay attention to Michael Cain's
character. Charm is powerful because it has a certain 'prince on a white horse' aspect to it.
• Imagination and Perspective. Watch the movie 'Don Juan DeMarco' and listen to how Don Juan interprets the world. Instead of just looking at the surface of a woman, he looks within to find the beautiful part. A romantic imagination sees opportunities for poetic comments, interesting stories, fascinating history, and emotional interpretation in everything. Expert in body language. This is important, as women are constantly sending signals. I'll talk more in a later chapter about this.
• Sexual Mastery. Women love sex just as much as men do. But just like everything else in life, a great lover is not easy to find. Women become instantly addicted to skillful lovers who know how to make them feel ecstasy and teach them new ways of feeling incredible.
But before I do that, I'd like to talk about some of the different personality traits that women find most attractive. Some are better when used with others, and some don't work well together. Here is the list with brief descriptions. I'll talk more about combining after.
• Funny. Humor is just plain powerful with women. If you can keep her laughing, you will go far.
• Intelligent and Creative. Intelligence is sexy IF it's used in a way that's interesting to her. Use your creativity and intelligence to surprise her with ideas, fantasies and unexpected things that
charm her.
• Educated. Education is attractive to women as long as it's used in an interesting way. Some women are actually intimidated by education, as they're not educated (This usually works in your favor).
• Classy and Cultured. If you have class, women pick up on this. Do your shoes and belt match? Do you understand interior design and color contrast? Do you know about different types of wine? Do you like foreign movies? Do you understand fashion? Do you like Frank Sinatra? Do you enjoy exotic foods? Do you serve her Hors d'oeuvres and a glass of wine when she visits? Do you open all doors for her? Women notice this stuff BIG TIME.
• Dominant. Women have an unconscious attraction to dominant men. The dominant males in some primate groups account for up to 75% of all the matings, while the less dominant males go
without. Same goes for humans.
• Thoughtful. Women don't just like gifts, they like knowing that you were THINKING of them. The gift is a SYMBOL. Women feel the same amount of good inside whether it's a card or a diamond (of course the diamond lasts longer, so there are more times of feeling good!'). But the fact is that women like to know that you're thinking about them. Even if you're telling a woman that you don't like it that she was out with another guy, she'll like it, because it means you were thinking about her!
• Notices Significant Details. Women don't just notice details, they USE them to try to be attractive and attentive. If she is wearing a sexy outfit, she didn't put it on by accident. If her hair is done nicely, it wasn't a fluke. Women are very impressed and attracted to men that notice these details.
• Unpredictable/Predictable. Here's a paradox. Women are drawn to men that they can't control or predict. They obsess over guys who flirt and give them attention, then don't call the
next day. Predictability is only attractive when it comes to choosing a HUSBAND. Then a woman usually wants a man who's VERY predictable.
• Enthusiastic, Fun, Happy. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a killjoy. Some men get upset and pout when a woman is happy, and try to put down the things that she enjoys to sound superior. This is usually a HUGE mistake. Enthusiasm is infectious and attractive.
• Adventurous. Women are instantly attracted to men who like to do extreme, adventurous, unusual, even dangerous things. It's exciting. Adventurism is sexy.
• Aggressive. Women love men that know what they want and go after it. Passion is a sign of life. I'm not talking about the kind of aggressive that turns into date rape. I'm talking about the kind
of aggressive that turns into setting a goal and then going after it with passion and getting it no matter what.
Confident/Cocky. Women are magnetically attracted to men who are just a little bit too cocky. Just a little bit. This is a tough one to explain. Many men take this to mean 'overly arrogant' which is not what I mean. If you watch Pierce Brosnan in 'The Thomas Crown Affair' or Clarke Gable in 'Gone With The Wind' or Tom Cruise in 'Top Gun' you'll get an idea of what I'm talking
about. The confident/cocky trait is mild overconfidence combined with humor. Drives women wild.
• Expertise. If you're an expert in an area that is interesting to your kind of woman, this can be attractive. It needs to be presented from a "I know a lot about this, let me show you"
perspective, not a "I'm cool and you're not" angle.
• Attention. Women like attention. And interestingly enough, it's better to hint at the attention that you're giving them than to be too overt about it. If you say "I was thinking about you earlier
today. And I just wanted to mention that I really like the sound of your voice..." it's much more powerful than listening to them complain about something so they think you're paying attention.
Get it?
• Disinterest, Indifference, a Challenge. Most women are used to being pursued by men in one way or another. If you are indifferent to a woman, make her think that you're only calling because you're bored, and act almost disinterested sexually, they'll often do their very best to get your attention. Different is good in this case. Again, this drives most women crazy, and
even though they'd hate to admit it, it's ultra interesting tothem.
• Charm (attention with a polished, smooth approach). This is hard to describe. Watch a James Bond movie to get an idea. And watch 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.' Pay attention to Michael Cain's
character. Charm is powerful because it has a certain 'prince on a white horse' aspect to it.
• Imagination and Perspective. Watch the movie 'Don Juan DeMarco' and listen to how Don Juan interprets the world. Instead of just looking at the surface of a woman, he looks within to find the beautiful part. A romantic imagination sees opportunities for poetic comments, interesting stories, fascinating history, and emotional interpretation in everything. Expert in body language. This is important, as women are constantly sending signals. I'll talk more in a later chapter about this.
• Sexual Mastery. Women love sex just as much as men do. But just like everything else in life, a great lover is not easy to find. Women become instantly addicted to skillful lovers who know how to make them feel ecstasy and teach them new ways of feeling incredible.
How To Be Funny, The One Page Course
Here's a little mini-course on how to be funny:
First, go read "Comedy Writing Secrets" by Helizer. And while you're at it, watch some good stand up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy and Robin Williams. Listen for how they use word play, double meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create humor.
It's time to get yourself a set of standard things that you say for some of the most common situations.
Here's a list of some that I use personally and how you can use them:
1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to something, say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" For instance, if a woman says "I just HATE it when people smoke around me!" say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" The sarcasm is that they've showed that they have VERY strong feelings, so the "How do you REALLY feel" creates a joke on them that they're overly emotional.
2. Say "Anyway" and look away quickly after making a wise crack. For instance, if someone says "That girl over there is ugly" say "Oh, I thought she was you-anyway" (look away quickly). The looking away and quick "Anyway" trying to get off the topic creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for opportunities to misinterpret words like it. If you say "Let's go over to the bar to have a drink" and the woman says "Let's do it," turn to her and say "Let's do it? You mean right here? I think the line for a bathroom stall is too long, and I'd rather have a drink."
4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything, and use it to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you even know her. If she says "Well, I'm getting tired, and I think it's time for bed" say "Bed? I mean, I don't even know if you know how to kiss... and you're trying to get me into bed? What happened to the old days where you could make friends first?"
5. Exaggerate. If a woman walks by that's overweight, say "What would you guess? 900 pounds?" Or if a woman complains about part of her body or her clothing (I love these opportunities)
exaggerate it. For instance, she says "My hair looks like hell today" you say "I didn't want to say anything." Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You'll usually get a hit on the arm (for which you can spank her on the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc.
6. Connect things around you current affairs in a funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by say "Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house." If a woman starts talking about how she just bought herself a new car, say "I like the effect that the Independent Woman song is having on you." (These are, of course, currently funny. Next year it will be a different set of things)
7. Don't smile too much, and don't laugh at your own jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it releases the tension. If you can keep a straight face, the joke stays funnier longer.
OK, there's a list of basic things that I've learned about how to be funny. I'd recommend that you start studying humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.
Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humor. This is some good funny stuff.
First, go read "Comedy Writing Secrets" by Helizer. And while you're at it, watch some good stand up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy and Robin Williams. Listen for how they use word play, double meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create humor.
It's time to get yourself a set of standard things that you say for some of the most common situations.
Here's a list of some that I use personally and how you can use them:
1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to something, say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" For instance, if a woman says "I just HATE it when people smoke around me!" say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" The sarcasm is that they've showed that they have VERY strong feelings, so the "How do you REALLY feel" creates a joke on them that they're overly emotional.
2. Say "Anyway" and look away quickly after making a wise crack. For instance, if someone says "That girl over there is ugly" say "Oh, I thought she was you-anyway" (look away quickly). The looking away and quick "Anyway" trying to get off the topic creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for opportunities to misinterpret words like it. If you say "Let's go over to the bar to have a drink" and the woman says "Let's do it," turn to her and say "Let's do it? You mean right here? I think the line for a bathroom stall is too long, and I'd rather have a drink."
4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything, and use it to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you even know her. If she says "Well, I'm getting tired, and I think it's time for bed" say "Bed? I mean, I don't even know if you know how to kiss... and you're trying to get me into bed? What happened to the old days where you could make friends first?"
5. Exaggerate. If a woman walks by that's overweight, say "What would you guess? 900 pounds?" Or if a woman complains about part of her body or her clothing (I love these opportunities)
exaggerate it. For instance, she says "My hair looks like hell today" you say "I didn't want to say anything." Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You'll usually get a hit on the arm (for which you can spank her on the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc.
6. Connect things around you current affairs in a funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by say "Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house." If a woman starts talking about how she just bought herself a new car, say "I like the effect that the Independent Woman song is having on you." (These are, of course, currently funny. Next year it will be a different set of things)
7. Don't smile too much, and don't laugh at your own jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it releases the tension. If you can keep a straight face, the joke stays funnier longer.
OK, there's a list of basic things that I've learned about how to be funny. I'd recommend that you start studying humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.
Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humor. This is some good funny stuff.
How To Answer Any Question That You Don't Want To Answer
Women have a way with questions.
They seem to always ask questions that men don't want to answer.
Questions like:
"Are you seeing anyone else right now?"
"How do you feel about marriage?"
"Do you want kids?"
"How do you feel about me?"
"Do I look fat in these pants?"
Know what I'm talking about?
Well, it took me awhile, but I finally figured out how to deal with tough questions: Evasive Action.
Here's how it works. She asks you a tough question. You don't miss a beat, and answer with the answer she wants to hear. Then you throw in a slapstick comedy line.
For instance:
Say she asks: "Are you seeing other women?"
You answer: "No... other men."
Get it?
Here's another one:
She asks: "Do you love me?"
You answer: "Of course... as a friend."
And another:
She asks: "Where were you last night? I called."
You answer: "I was home thinking about you... but since you didn't call early enough, I went out and hired ten strippers."
At first, I figured that this tactic wouldn't work. But then I tried using it a few times, and behold, it worked in almost every situation.
And if she pushes and asks again: "Cummon, seriously..."
You say: "No, seriously. I was home thinking about you... OK, OK, you got me. I really went out with ten other women. Are you happy? What, are you feeling insecure?"
If you keep it up, they'll give up.
Make sure you don't act busted or nervous and it will work for you, too. Remember, women can take hints very well, and if they think that there's an answer that they don't want to hear, they'll give up and stop asking.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
